10 things I want my daughter to know

  1. You are not your Mother. You are not your Father. You will have some of our traits but you’ll be quintessentially you; an entirely unique being into which I will pour out as much love as humanly possible. I’m so looking forward to seeing your character traits and your personality.
  2. You can mostly wear what you want as hopefully I will instill a sense of pride and confidence in you but I’m going to draw the line at anything that shows me your breakfast as well as printed T’shirts especially if you don’t understand why you’re wearing it. “I’m a Ramones fan” is great…if you are a Ramones fan. Don’t wear something to fit in.
  3. You’ll either be a hard-arse like me and no boy will ever break your heart or you will be an utter romantic like your father – both have their merits but don’t forget that you are of the rarest magic and no one should see you shine without treating you like the Empress you are. You were not made to settle.
  4. Being a female is wonderful. Embrace it. Revel in it. Don’t let anyone make you feel less because of your gender. You were not meant to run after men in an effort to appease them.
  5. You will be bombarded by images of “the perfect weight” and campaigns aiming to help you lose those pesky pounds. It is so easy to feel less than you are, to compare yourself to others; I have struggled with an eating disorder for most of my life and to think, even briefly, that you could ever feel as low as I have done would break my heart.
    I know that I will be tempted to perhaps say something about exercising or healthy eating because I’ll think that I’m helping you by making you “fit in” but I’m praying absolutely against that because it can be the smallest of words that causes the longest amount of damage.
    The line is so fine but know that I’m practicing this tight-rope so that you always feel your best.
  6. Classical music is glorious. Art is wonderful. Ballet is spectacular. Nature should be explored. Don’t get too lost in the digital playgrounds.
  7. Growing up happens so fast, don’t wish the time away. If you want to play make-believe games until you are 15 then we’ll do it together. Enjoy every moment, every second of this life that you have been blessed with.
  8. I am not always wrong. Just because I am your Mother and potentially an old fart in your eyes, doesn’t mean that I don’t have experience and know a few things about life. Likewise, some things should be questioned and discovered…but not drugs. Never drugs. Or offal.
  9. Family is a tricky beast and often we will disappoint you; Sometimes your Father might not be as strong as you need him to be. I might not have the answer that you need. You might not understand why some family members act the way they do or why you don’t see certain people. What you can be sure of is that we – your parents – can’t ever stop loving you or striving to protect you and being there when you need us the most.
  10. It may be too much to ask, but from the moment I knew you were there, I wanted/want to have a completely honest and open relationship with you. I know that the teenage years will be a mine field; I know that somewhere down the road, what I did to my Mother will come back to haunt me; I know that I can be very obstinate – but I also have this feeling that you won’t be like me, that you’ll be more like your namesake and that I will work incredibly hard to be everything that you need (not want) and in-so-doing, will be able to have a close relationship with you forever.



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  • Reply Katy Lewis December 8, 2015 at 7:52 am

    This is really lovely. You’re daughter is going to feel the love from you a lot

  • Reply Jenny December 8, 2015 at 2:54 pm

    So beautiful <3

  • Reply Nicole December 11, 2015 at 2:01 pm

    Wow! Love this, honestly 🙂

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