Our rainbow baby is on her way!!

I’m going to be a mummy to TWO girls.

Come September, Mr H is going to be well and truly outnumbered.

Wow, I feel so elated to be able to share this news, it’s been a tough few months keeping her under wrap, and also not letting fear hold me down. We’ve prayed so hard for this little one, prayed against my fears, prayed for my body and prayed that we would both be safe. I can’t deny that the innocence of my pregnancy with Rosie was marred by our miscarriage in October BUT, God is good, and in his timing we have trusted.

It’s been a difficult pregnancy. Mainly because I’ve been so worried, so paranoid.
I got scared at 8 weeks after having awful stomach pains, which I know was down to stress, and after two days of agony I took myself to the gynae to prove my fears wrongs.
At 10 weeks I got a terrible gastro bug and again, everyone went into high alert. Everything I eat I panic over.

I knew that this pregnancy was going to be completely different from the first – they always are right? I knew it would be hard, but contending with an overwhelming feeling of dread was not the emotion I was after.

I’ve had the most amazing people by my side – Mr H has, and always will be my champion – my friends who have known have been so supportive and I must give special thanks to two of my dear loves who are both pregnant and have practically put aside their baby news to check in on me all the time. I’m actually having a good cry whilst typing that, you two know who you are and I love you.

The 12 week scan was so emotional as I watched our little girl waving and twisting. Even though Mr H told me it was to be a girl, he was still in disbelief – we both thought it was a boy. We’re going to be saving loads not having to buy boys clothing. Whoop!

Whilst two pregnancies can’t be the same unless you’re one of those gifted individuals who maintains their figure, and never gets sick, tired or overcome by joint pain, here’s what I’ve faced so far with my second pregnancy :

• I started the year terribly stressed, fighting for my business, fighting for money and for my family and it was so exhausting, my body really felt it.  This battle, though now over, definitely taught me that if something is draining your soul, you need it gone.
• I’ve been a lot more nauseous this time round. I truly forgot how yucky my taste buds go in my first trimester and my tongue still feels like a Persian rug.
• Food cravings – one day I can be craving a steak and the next day I want nothing but apples. I can’t quite stomach the thought of chicken and I’ve even stopped eating much chocolate. I know, am I even me without chocolate? I’ve eaten so much cheese and I’ve found an egg-free mayo which is delicious (I am really loving creamy mayo with salad). But I could really do with a G&T. A huge one. I’m currently feasting on apples and mature cheddar, finished off with a bag of milky bar buttons.
• I’ve been tired. In the first few weeks I felt like I could just crawl into bed and emulate Sleeping Beauty – her game plan was so strong, I would have also found that spinning needle and taken a nap. Some days are good, other days I just droop and take myself off to bed.
• I’ve been emotional. You could show me a dying flower and I’d weep. I stupidly watched Inside Out the other day and whilst Rosie decided that she was bored and wanted to unpack my underwear drawer, I was bawling my eyes out at the death of Bing Bong. That might not sound that bad because it’s such a heartbreaking moment but guys, Rosie was watching the Wiggles one morning and one of the episodes featured a sad song about a fruit salad and I swear, there were tears.
• I am a vacuum. I’ve been eating SO much to combat the weird taste buds but also to feed my insatiable appetite. I can have a massive breakfast and 30 minutes later I’m checking the fridge for my next meal.
• I am smaller than I was with Rosie. When I conceived Rosie I was a regular exerciser but not wholeheartedly and not in a manner that gave me definition or strength. Finding out I was pregnant with my daughter kick-started my need to get into gear and I’ve tried to carry that on. At my first scan with Rosie I was 61kg. With baby no2, my body is firmer and more prone to develop muscle and whilst I managed to put on 3kgs in a week of finding out I was pregnant (don’t even ask me how that is done because I don’t remember stuffing my face with delicious carbs and sweets) it subsequently all came off again.
• I am not wishing the time away. My pregnancy with Rosie was horrific (sciatica, heartburn, 30 days of no sleeping, itchy skin). Her birth was amazing (you can read that here) and I wished the pregnancy to be over all the time. Not this time around. Two children is going to be fun, and crazy, and I need all the time I can get to have everything in order before Mr shows his face.
• I’m not going to do anything crazy. With Rosie, at 5 months I decided to paint the house and it ruined my hips for the whole pregnancy. I had terrible sciatica. This time, I’m giving my body love and care. I’m taking things slow.

I’m looking forward to documenting this pregnancy, like I did with Rosie, and I’m very excited to be visiting the family in England next week with Rosie and bumpette.