In the silence of our room, I feel you move through the walls, through the duvet we once shared and the pillow that held your fair head; the curtains sway and I wish it to be you. But it isn’t. Purely just a memory from a time when my heart was fully beating.

Hi, I am Angela, a widowed mum to a toddler boy, Elijah Micah. We have two dogs, a Border Collie and a Border Scollie called Flop and Millie, and a Russian Blue cat called Spider Pig or just Pig for short. You can find me on my blog here.

When my son was seven months old I tragically lost the love of my life, my husband Darrell, while he was on duty putting out a fire in his helicopter.

My whole world came crashing down – literally – Darrell was my whole world.

Darrell was the chief pilot for a very large aviation firm and it was an exciting and different life. One becomes very close to their spouse as their working environment is so unconventional. We were either living in each others pockets as Darrell did a home standby, or we were pining for each other when Darrell was up North for the fire season. We would talk at least 20 times a day and were continuously on WhatsApp with each other. Continue Reading…

When you were a child, you lived with the innocence of a child. You laughed wholeheartedly like a child and you loved unashamedly like a child. But when that child dies, you must twist your body into the mould of an adult. You must let pain lead you, regrets make you, terror push you and you must lose the ways of a child in a split second. Soon, you begin to wonder whether you were born at all, or if you just suddenly existed, formed from the destruction of a moment.

For many of you, we’ve probably already met, but in case you’ve just followed the series and know nothing about me…I’m Shante, a Brit who moved to SA in 2010 to marry the love of her life. Together, we have a beautiful daughter, Rosie, who is turning two this May and is strong-willed, self-assured, and utterly breathtaking. Aside from taking photos (You can find me here), I also own my own Copywriting & Social Media Agency (Sweet Lemon Communications), built on 10 years of experience in writing, print, advertising and marketing.

I didn’t start off wanting to put myself into the series. I had no intention of being in front of the lens. Tam, our amazing stylist and concept developer, coaxed away my reluctance, suggesting that my story would also bring healing for others.

So here I am, letting go of the little pieces of armour that I have left, ready to tell you where it all begins…

Lights flash across the car windows highlighting smudged finger prints and smeared lip traces, and Mum explains for the third time that once we reach the Leisure Centre, she’ll pay for the swimming after she has gone to the bathroom.
I am annoyed with my brother, folding my arms across me in anger and refusing to look at him – it was only a few hours earlier that he had taken a compass and stabbed a hole in my brand-new school photo.
We reach the Leisure Centre, Mum heads to the bathroom whilst Jhordan and I stand in the foyer, uncertainty between us. I follow my feet towards the leaflet stand and Jhordan heads to the weighing machine that stands opposite – it is a heavy piece of machinery with a jutting out base to stand on and a huge circular face. It’s great for adventures, for pretending that the floor is a sea and the machine is the ship to sail upon.
Jhordan rotates his body on and off the base like he is performing a dance, a dance we have both done many times before. The sea begins to churn and the space between us suddenly grows; air falters, noises are silenced and in one sweep of arms and legs, the giant of metal and glass topples like corn in the wind – the defiance of its ruler is broken as underneath its ugly bulk he falls without sound. Crimson erupts from his face and head, each droplet flows into another, weaving a map of vermillion across the ebony floor.
Air blasts back into my nostrils, a man swirls around the conquered hero and Mum comes running, apparently screaming, to lift the demon from its final resting place.

20 years ago, on the 5^th November, when I was 9, my 7-year-old brother, Jhordan, was crushed to death in front of me beneath a mountain of steel, bolts and glass.

There it is. In its most crude form. Ugly. Bare. The facts.

That day I met death.
He was not fearsome or terrifying, he was small, almost missable. He commanded no grand entrance, he merely stepped in as I forgot to breath, and gently and gracefully took my heart and replaced it with winter’s ice.

The girl who was so self-assured, so in control, suddenly found herself in a world that she no longer recognized, a world that she was viewing through raw eyes.

Continue Reading…

There are wounds that never show on the body that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds.

Hi! My name is Maz. I am a working mom from Cape Town, South Africa, who apparently enjoys blogging over at www.caffeineandfairydust.com  more than sleeping. What is sleep anyway? I have two adorable and extremely exhausting kids, my perfect pigeon pair. I am happily married to my soul mate – he is pretty much the only human being on the planet that I can tolerate for more than 6-hours at a time. The four of us decided to pack up our things and trade our white picket-fenced suburban life for the open countryside on the outskirts of Cape Town almost a year ago – and it was the best decision we had ever made.

During the day I work full time as a senior Fashion Designer for a South African clothing manufacturer that supplies some of the top retailers nationally and internationally. It is extremely hard and challenging work – but I love it and it has been a passion/dream of mine for as long as I can remember. I have so much I still want to accomplish when it comes to my career, but for now I am focusing on working towards a more sustainable industry with fair trade practices and a clean conscience.

You can find me, socially, here: Facebook  | Twitter | Instagram

So where does my story start? I grew up in a stable, loving home with a supportive family who gave me the world and more.
There was absolutely no reason for me to be depressed or unhappy but, as a child I was always a bit different, I never felt like I fitted in and I found it extremely hard to make friends. I felt like an unwelcome tourist in a place called earth, as dramatic as that sounds.

Continue Reading…

I shook the hand of death –  I made his acquaintance – and then I told him, in a voice that rang like thunder, I will not bow to you.

Hi, I’m Jonelle, a Mom, Wife, Ostomate, Writer and Community Development Practitioner!

I live in Cape Town with my family but I’m originally from Swaziland. I moved here in 2003 to attend university and I loved it so much that I never left.

I write the blog, www.tyrannyofpink.com , which is about intentional living, with a focus on living life positively, purposefully and authentically. I write about being resilient in the face of adversity and being proud of who you are and try to encourage people to live unapologetically! You can find me here:   www.facebook.com/tyrannyofpink | www.instagram.com/jonelledupont | www.twitter.com/tyrannyofpink

I’m married to the love of my life, Gerard, and we have an almost two year old son called Oden. We also have two dogs and two cats and our life is a little chaotic. My son is a real life miracle story, he was a complete surprise to us after we were told we would never have kids naturally. We had actually already started planning to start IVF when I discovered I was pregnant. We live in Cape Town and if things go our way, we will be moving to New Zealand sometime this year.

I’ve had so much death in my family over the last few years and death changes you.

I’d say the most profound was the loss of my dad when I was 23. I was this naïve child who thought I’d be daddy’s girl forever but then he died in a car accident and suddenly I had to figure out the real world. I had no idea how to take care of myself but somehow I managed. I figured it out as I went along and made a few mistakes but my dad’s death really showed me how quickly everything you know can change. Death and grief have the power to destroy you.

Continue Reading…

I am not the skin I am in. I am my voice. My heart. My soul. My art; I am a canvas for possibility and the scars and tears do not define me.

To most people I’m known as Cindy Alfino, but to the three most demanding people in my life, I’m called Mom.

Between juggling three kids and all the taxiing, cuddling and disciplining involved in raising them alongside my husband, I also co-own my own insurance brokerage called Incompass Insurance Consultants and run a semi successful parenting blog called 3 Kids, 2 Dogs and 1 Old House.  We like to spend our time together exploring our home town of Cape Town and occasionally other parts of SA too.  When I’m not actively involved with any of those things you’ll probably find me hiding behind a good book, in front of a great series or stalking people on social media:
Instagram  | Facebook | Twitter

As you can imagine, our family life with three kids can be hectic on a good day.  It takes a lot of planning, plotting and good time keeping to keep our ship afloat everyday.  The problem is that despite my ability to nail that all at work, I’m totally shocking at this at home.  So very often you’ll find us running in late, with half the goodies organised but generally with a smile on our faces.

Our kids are Kyla, who just turned 8.  Riya-Ray who was a bit of a surprise baby that joined her sister just a year and two weeks later and has just turned 7.  Then there’s our little boy Knox who is 5.  It’s often a bit crazy but we would not have it any other way. Continue Reading…