Because I’m in it for the records, for the ability to look back at our time together; because I want my daughter to see, in writing, what I sometimes stutter, and don’t say right.
To my dearest Rose,
I’m writing this in bed whilst you kick me for the umpteenth time. We’ve been moving around England on our 4 week holiday and your routine is entirely off so sleeping next to me seems to be your one place of safety and continuity. I don’t really mind, in between getting up for the loo and having your foot in my face, the magical moments of hearing you breathe and having you wrap your arms around me makes it a moment to be treasured. You’ve really been so amazing on this trip, coping with my exhaustion, new faces, new rooms, road trips and not having your Daddy with you. You’ve been a delight with everyone and you’re so smart and so intuitive. I have realized since this holiday how much you need routine and how much you are like me. We, being alphas, are so reliant on order and things known and I promise that I will do my best to make sure that you always feel secure and comfortable in all environments.
You are so determined, so strong, so clever and so funny. You give the most amazing hugs and even from the very moment you were born, you have never been a baby baby – does that even make sense? You were just always so strong, so capable, and you’ve gone along with so much of our life, fitting into Daddy’s and my heart and filling a void that has been waiting for you since the beginning of time.
You are breathtaking – an exquisite form of laughter, kisses, singing and dancing; your hands were made to move mountains and fix brokenness and your smile has melted so many hearts.
As you turn two, I want to thank you for all the wonderful things you have taught me and all the precious moments you have given me. I hope you always know that I love you deeply and fervently, you will forever be my little girl. There will not be anyone in the world who can change that, you have lit an eternal candle in my soul, and it will always shine for you.
Happy (almost) Birthday monkey.
Love forever, Mummy