If you don’t have a vagina, stop reading now. No seriously, stop. You’re going to be weirded out and you really won’t get this. This, being a blog post about womanly functions and not a review about the well-received Daniel Day-Lewis movie.
Yesterday, I started my period.
Why would this be a big deal? Because I haven’t had one in a year and 4 months (yes, I’ve been counting).
So after a wonderful time of being a free agent and experiencing life as a woman without limits (except of course for having a new baby), the crimson wave has hit and boy, did I NOT miss it.
Honestly, periods suck.
I don’t have anything positive to say about them and when you’ve been rouge free for so long, to have a visit from the Red Queen was really not on my Christmas list.
What’s it like?
Well, all the goodies are there, the mood swings, the break-outs, the insatiable desire to eat the world’s supply of chocolate. I feel like a teenager again. I feel really pathetic too because I just want to have a bit of a weep but I’m a mum so I feel like I should be sucking this up and dealing…but I want to watch Jackass and eat Nutella straight from the jar.
The pain hasn’t hit too much yet and I’m getting super nervous as I anticipate the worse.
I was just really enjoying skipping past the pads and tampon aisle in Dischem and flicking it the V. Now I have shuffle sheepishly back there and pray they don’t treat me too harshly.
I have no idea how long it will last for. I have no gauge for what a period should be like after birth so I’m hoping for the best, and sticking the Lovoka in the freezer for the worse.
The next step though is to look at a solution but I’m terrified of weight gain and mood swings and I forget to unplug the iron so I need something that doesn’t require memory.
Any recommendations ladies?