Every day, a beautiful new sparkle of personality becomes visible in the persona of Rosie; her smiles become wider, her laughs deeper and new changes become evident each morning.
She’s a headstrong little thing, she knows what she wants and a lot of the time, that’s human contact, more specifically, mummy contact. Sometimes it irritates me. Yes, I’m being honest, sometimes I don’t always want to be holding her because I have deadlines looming over me and I’m feeling stressed out. So when she’s clinging to my leg, I feel a little helpless…and annoyed. I know that some mums will think that I’m wrong, that I shouldn’t feel that way (and will give me that incredibly annoying string of words “enjoy every moment”) and I know that in a few years, I will desperately want those clinging days back but right now it’s tough. It’s gotten worse too with her refusing to go to sleep at night unless nursing. It’s exhausting.
One evening though, Mr H was out and I was struggling to get Rosie to sleep. I messaged him to tell him that I had given up and had put her in her cot and walked away. I could hear her screaming and I told him that I was pretty sure that she had said the word “‘mum”. He replied, “That girl is madly in love with you“. My heart did a little flip and what ever anger and frustration was building up inside of me crumbled away. I thought about how Rosie acts in the day and saw not a stubborn child, but a child that just wants to be with and loved by her mummy.
She loves clinging to me in her sleep.
She hugs me so close when she wakes up in the morning.
She pushes my buttons to get my attention.
She touches my face and gives me the sweetest kisses and no matter if I discipline her, she crawls right into my lap again so that I can envelop her in my arms.
She loves me.
Really loves me and I love her with a ferocious, jealous, fearless love that will encircle her forever.
What a wonderful revelation. Thank you so much Mr H for opening my eyes to my daughter’s heart and reminding me that love truly conquers all.
Sometimes we just need someone to help us see how beautiful parenthood can be.