Parenthood

I’m starting to panic about the new baby


I’m not one to really panic. Yes, I get stressed, but I tend to be more logical than flat-out hysterical. Yet I’m having a bit of a “moment”.

Last night Mr H and I finished watching another episode of Australian MKR, wondering why on earth people are so bitchy…and why they enter a cooking show if they can’t even cook.ย We turned off the TV, rolled into our comfortable sleeping positions and as I felt Bumpette’s persistent bladder kicks, I began to think about her impeding arrival. I thought about finishing the nursery and that glorious newborn smell, reminiscing about the moment she gets placed in my arms and in a split-second, I’ve memorized her entire face. But then my mind began to wonder to the actual practicalities and I began to panic.

I felt chills run like water down my body as I realized that I’m actually bloody nervous about it all. As much as I want to meet her face-to-face, I know I need to face labour again, crowning, breastfeeding, sleepless nights, constant panic, the delicacy of human life when it is so new.

This didn’t sound so daunting the first time round because a) I had no idea what I was actually going to face and b) I was so over being pregnant. This time, I’m going to be caring for a new baby AND a toddler. I’m going into this with my eyes fully open, I know how hard it can be, there’s no pretense.

I will undoubtedly experience moments of running to the bathroom with leaky boobs AND a crying baby, AND a needy toddler. There will be times when they are both crying at the same time. There will be times when I’m crying at the same time. What if I don’t get Rosie out of nappies before the baby arrives (potty training is kicking my ass parents!)? Will I be able ever shower or go to the toilet on my own again?

And my biggest fear, the fear that I pray against ALL THE TIME. What if Rosie reacts really badly to a new baby?

I want to tell myself that I’m focusing too negatively on this but am I? Did any of you feel these same fears the second, third time round? How did you counter-act them?

Also, Rosie doesn’t know about baby, not from lack of us talking about her, she’s just too young to comprehend. How then do I prepare her for meeting her sister?

I’d love to get your first-hand advice. Perhaps you are a pregnant mother, or doting father, who is feeling the same way?

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9 Comments

  • Reply Teresa Verdonese May 22, 2018 at 5:46 am

    Iโ€™m right there with you. Our lb is due end July & im totally freaking out… I donโ€™t know how Iโ€™m going to mange a toddler & a newborn ๐Ÿ™„
    Iโ€™m also much less organized this time around- nothing is ready!

    • Reply Shante Hutton May 22, 2018 at 8:14 am

      I am living in this bubble of “I’ll organize everything the month before”….because life really is too crazy…and maybe because I’m trying to deny it. Ha!

  • Reply Leandi Solms May 22, 2018 at 6:22 am

    Hi, I felt the exact same panic before my second baby boy was born. I became terrified that I would never ever sleep again, never have a moment for myself again, and probably my worst fear : What if big brother hated him and tried to hurt him ?! So in the months leading up to babies birth I talked and showed big brother Daniel tiger episodes with a new baby. He was 2 1/2 and couldnt care less.I told myself I would handle things as the problems arose and that Iโ€™ ve handled everything with No 1 so far. That gave me some comfort. We were also potty training at the time. But that last month of pregnancy he just stopped using the potty , so we decided to wait till after baby and boy was I glad we did that. And them came the day for baby to arrive. And I will never forget that first moment when big brother saw his new baby brother for the first time. His little face lit up with the biggest smile and with wonder and pride in his voice he said : Thats my baby brother ! And yes there was jealousy but like all things with the kids we handled it in the moment and he loves his brother sooo much. So hang in there mama ! Itโ€™s tough , I wont lie. But you can do it.

    • Reply Shante Hutton May 22, 2018 at 8:17 am

      I really need to sit Rosie in front of these Daniel Tiger episodes!
      The sleep is a BIG one, we’re still not at a stage of Rosie sleeping through the night consecutively and it is draining…now add a newborn. When I see her around other babies, she is fascinated and so gentle, so that is a relief there.
      Thank you for the encouragement, we often just need a little push to let us know we can do it

  • Reply Emily | The Multitasking Mom May 23, 2018 at 12:26 am

    I just had #3 two days ago. When we were expecting #2 my son was already 2 and tuned 3 before she was born. We talked a lot about the baby and watched the Daniel tiger episodes a ton of times at his request. We also got him big brother books. We brought him around my friendโ€™s newborn so he could see what a new baby was like. This time he was all ready but his sister who just turned two last week was the newbie. Being a full year younger than he was when he got his first sibling, she understands a lot less. We just emphasized being nice to babies the whole time. So far so good, but we just got home from the hospital today, lol.

    • Reply Shante Hutton May 24, 2018 at 11:21 am

      Fortunately, my close friend is due a month before me so I definitely want to introduce Rosie to a newborn. She’s very soft and gentle with the idea of a baby, and other kids that are younger than her…I just know that there could be some jealousy issues.

  • Reply Alet May 23, 2018 at 6:42 am

    Remember how you weren’t prepared for what you were going to face the first time around because no-one can prepare you for the changes of a baby. Juggling two is a lot more daunting – but essentially, it’s too late to back out now!

    My advice, plan and prep for the Bumpette, but ultimately, calm down, things will fall into place, some days are going to be tough, but you will fall into a pattern that works for you and your family!

    • Reply Shante Hutton May 24, 2018 at 11:21 am

      Thanks Alet! I know it’s not going to always be easy, but the pattern is what we’re striving for – the means to have it work for all of us. x

  • Reply janet cuthbert May 25, 2018 at 10:36 pm

    Shante there will be things that feel exhausting and tough and other things will be so much easier because you’ve faced them before and survived ….it wont be long before you can’t remember what it was like to be 3 because 4 is so right…no 2 babies are the same and because you will hopefully be more relaxed generally baby will probably relax more….i remember popping Mathew in the play pen as a new born ( as a way to protect him from little sister being tooo attentive) whilst I washed the pots and tidy kitchen, he cried and i thought you will just have to wait mate i have to get this done..by the time i got to him he’d fallen asleep . helen would never have done that unless cuddled!! oh forget about going to loo or showering in peace ever again…mine still chat to me through the door !!! ๐Ÿ˜‰ you learn to accept help more readily and Rosie will be fine…they are very adaptable.
    praying you relax and enjoy being pregnant xx love janet cuthbert

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