How to blow R50k on a baby in a day

I just did a little stock-up at Dischem and ended up spending almost a grand. Nobody said kids wouldn’t be expensive, but it still manages to shock me when I need to buy wipes and nappies – the essentials – and realize that I now have considerably less money for wine.
Thinking about the things I now spend money on, I remember the initial baby purchases we had to make before Rosie arrived; with my folks and family in the UK, and MR H’s family baby-free for many years, we had to start from scratch and made sure every penny counted. We thought long and hard about what we should buy (the pushchair took us 3 months) and whilst some purchases were entirely useless for our baby (the babysense sling and the Tiny Love Rocker that doesn’t freaking rock), others have been life-savers (the Babymoov carrier is everything). With so many things you could buy, it can get pricey and if you’re torn between saving money or getting a product that has good reviews, I think this blog post will be great in showing you HOW CRAZY the baby world really is…and how not everything needs to cost an arm and a leg.

If you’ve got R50,000 lying around, here’s how you can blow it.

The creators of the Special Edition Henley Chassis decided that this pram should push itself because what mother has the capabilities of pushing anything these days.
But wait, there’s more.
Built into the handle is a small wattage heater that fits one regular sized bottle; there’s a power bank on the left side of the chassis and a water-resistant seat warmer for those cold days. On top of that, if it’s raining, a demister keeps the cover from fogging up.
Okay, It doesn’t do any of that, but for the price, it bloody well should.



Take a ride on the express train to pumpville and find out what it’s like to be milked like the animal that you are.
Breast pumps are funny things. If watching your boob be sucked by a piece of machinery was ever funny.  Should you have asked me a year ago what I wanted out of a breast pump, I’d have answered with “I’d like it to be transportable, and to be a brand I know”. Oh Shante, you naive little rabbit.

In the world of pumping, you’ve got to think about the following:
– Does the pump have a non-returnable valve, i.e. If you leaned forward, will the milk go back up the pump and short circuit the machine?
– Is the machine powerful enough to be quick?
– Does It have variable speed and suction settings so that you can express in the time it takes to go to the loo…because sometimes that all the time you have.
– Does it work on batteries or do you have to sit by a plug?
All these questions and Mandela answers them all…for a price.

As soon as you add some leather to an item, you can pretty much double your price and this highchair looks way too fancy and sophisticated for the likes of a baby. Okay, so it looks pretty awesome, and you can take off the tray and the padded inner and make it a normal chair…a chair that will inevitably be full of mushy vegetables.



In the circle of Motherhood, bemoaning the price of nappy bags is a regular occurrence and it’s highly irritating to think that there is a person lying on a bed of money having made a killing by taking a regular holdall, adding some more pockets, changing the name to nappy bag and tripling the price. Of course there is a market for it because I for one don’t want to be walking around with an obvious, boring nappy bag. But I also don’t want to be forking out a ridiculous amount of money for something that holds smelly nappies, extra breast pads and bum cream.




Of course you can’t clean your child on your bed or a regular compactum, you need the elegant lines of the Stokke and it’s incredible healing abilities as you “can help avoid the pain of nappy rash because you can ensure perfect cleaning” – I kid you not, it does say that here.






And that folks is how you can easily blow a small fortune on your little darling.

If you’re keen on anything I have featured here, you can purchase it through Kids Emporium or A Zee Baby’s World…or you could give me that R50k and I could go on a lovely holiday…your choice


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